What I Wish People Knew About Starting Therapy

Starting therapy can feel like standing at the edge of something unknown- hopeful, intimidating, and a little uncomfortable all at once. Clients often tell me they worried they would ‘say the wrong thing’, ‘be judged’, or not know where to start. If any of that sounds familiar, you’re already more prepared than you think.

Here are a few things I wish everyone knew before they walk through a therapist’s door.

1. You don’t need to know what to say

Therapy isn’t an interview. You don’t need a script, a diagnosis, or a perfect explanation of your feelings. Sometimes people begin with:

• ‘I don’t know why I’m here, I just know something feels off.’

• ‘Everything is fine on paper, but I don’t feel fine.’

• ‘I’m exhausted from holding everything together.’

That is enough. Your therapist’s job is to help you make sense of your inner world, not expect you to arrive with a map.

2. You can bring your whole self -even the messy parts

Many people try to be ‘good clients’: calm, polite, composed. But therapy isn’t a performance. It’s one of the few spaces where you’re not required to minimise, mask, cope, or smile through it. You can arrive angry, numb, confused, hopeful, or unsure, and it’s all welcome.

3. Therapy is not about being ‘fixed’

You are not broken. Therapy isn’t a repair shop; it’s more like a workshop where we explore your patterns, beliefs, history, and the stories you tell yourself. It helps you understand why you respond the way you do, and then offers tools and space to choose differently.

Healing isn’t about fixing what’s wrong, it’s about reconnecting with who you already are.

4. It’s okay if it feels awkward at first

The first few sessions can feel strange. You’re opening up to someone you’ve only just met. There might be silences. You may wonder if you’re ‘doing it right’. This is normal. Relationships take time, even therapeutic ones.

Often, the most important part of therapy is not what you say - it’s the emerging sense that you don’t have to carry things alone.

5. You don’t have to feel ready

People rarely start therapy because everything is calm. They come when something tips the scales, a relationship breaking, anxiety creeping in, burnout settling, grief unravelling. Readiness isn’t required. Willingness is enough.

6. Therapy isn’t only for crises

You don’t have to wait until you’re barely coping. Therapy can help you:

• strengthen boundaries

• learn how to feel feelings safely

• understand relationships

• increase confidence

• process old wounds before they leak into current life

Many clients tell me they wish they’d begun sooner.

7. It’s a collaboration, not a hierarchy

A good therapist doesn’t tell you who you are or what to do. They walk alongside you, curious about your inner logic, patterns, and pain. You bring your lived experience; we bring tools, training, and a safe container. Together, something shifts.

Final Thought

Starting therapy isn’t a sign of failure - it’s an act of courage. It’s choosing to face yourself rather than abandon yourself. You don’t have to be clear, confident, or composed. You just have to show up.

And showing up is the beginning of everything.